American Idol

PART I

Dear Randy, Cara, Simon, and Ellen,

One reason the show is getting so squirmy, uncomfortable, and stale is you've got these kids singing old top-40 tunes recorded before they were born. These songs were mildewed and worn out long before Fox got permission to use them.

Here's an idea: Theme your nights on something fun and interesting. Baliwood. Celtic pop. Reggae. acapella harmonies. Rap. Grunge.

Anything but the yawners they've been singing.

PART II

Dear Idol Contestants:

Simon calls it the "moment" or the "it factor" -- it's really not a mystery to get that star quality mojo happening when you are performing. The secret is to GET OVER YOURSELF. You are performing because people want to be entertained, they want to be taken away from mundane life. They want to feel something, to experience the song. It's not about YOU. It's about the music, and unless you can be like Crystal or Casey (they both seem to understand it's about the music and the art, not their own egos/attention), you'll never have it.

Good luck!